If you get into trouble on the Uncanny Highway, you might be tempted to seek shelter in one of the numerous house standing on the roadside. Perhaps, you will find a seemingly normal family, who will give you a cup of coffee, and let you use the phone. Or maybe, you were better off taking your chances outside…
Table 1: House Style
-1 to the roll in Southern California & the Desert Southwest, +1 in the Northeast.
d10
The architectural style is…
1 or below
Mission Revival / Adobe. (1 or 2 floors)
2
Ranch. (1 floor)
3
Craftsman / California Bungalow. (2 or 3 floors) or Shotgun House (in the South, 1 floor).
4
Rural Gothic. (2 or 3 floors)
5
Greek Revival. (2 or 3 floors). Do not roll on Table 2. House is white. In the South, this a former plantation house.
6
Modernist. (1 – 3 floors)
7
Tudor Revival. (2 or 3 floors). Do not roll on Table 2. House is brown and white.
8
Queen Anne. (2 – 4 floors)
9
Colonial Revival. (2 or 3 floors)
10
Dutch Colonial (2 or 3 floors) or Shotgun House (in the South, 1 floor).
11+
Federal. (2 – 4 floors). Do not roll on Table 2. House is either red brick, or whitewashed brick.
Table 2: House Color
d12
The house is painted predominantly…
1 – 2
white
3 – 4
brown
5
light blue
6
gray
7
dark blue
8
gray-green
9
green
10
yellow
11
red
12
pink
Table 3: Overall Condition of the House
d6
The condition of the house is…
1
dilapidated. If still inhabited, there are some boarded-up windows.
2 – 3
not good, but it is obviously still inhabitable.
4 – 5
average.
6
excellent.
Table 3: The Attached Property
d6
The surrounding property is…
1
small and overgrown
2
small, and apparently kept up.
3
moderate, and overgrown.
4
moderate, and apparently kept up.
5
large and overgrown.
6
large, and apparently kept up.
Table 4: Notable Features of the House and Property
d100, twice.
There is/are…
1 – 4
a tool shed.
5 – 8
a separate garage.
9 – 16
a fence / wall around the property. d6. 1=picket fence, 2=iron fence with gates, 3–4 =chain link fence, 5=brick wall, 6=privacy hedges. Two different fences are possible.
17 – 21
a pool.
22 – 24
a flower garden.
25 –30
a doghouse.
31 – 32
an underground bomb shelter.
33 – 34
pink flamingo figures in front.
35 – 36
a lawn jockey figure.
37 – 40
a strangely-shaped tree in front.
41 – 42
a religious statue in front.
43 – 44
a free-standing basketball hoop.
45 – 48
a birdbath.
49 – 50
stone architectural elements from demolished buildings scattered in front on the building.
51 – 52
Christmas decorations obviously left up all year.
53 – 56
unusual art made from trash (bottles, hubcaps, bicycle parts, etc.)
57 – 60
topiary bushes in front..
61 – 64
concrete statues in front.
65 – 68
playground equipment in front (slide, merry-go-round, monkey-bars, etc.)
69 – 72
stained glass windows.
73 – 76
a wheel-less car on cinder blocks in front.
77 – 80
a couch on the front lawn.
81 – 84
numerous signs.
85 – 88
store manikins standing in front.
89 – 92
a standing tent.
93 – 95
1d12 graves (with markers).
96 – 100
a radio tower. The House is a radio station. Roll on Table 5 only to determine previous use for the House.
Table 5: House Inhabitants
d100
The house is now…
1 – 25
just the residence of an ordinary married couple with 1d4 children, (25% likely to also be haunted.)
25 – 35
abandoned. (50% likely to be haunted. 25% likely to be the lair of a local Strange Animal or Creature. House could be both haunted and the lair of a Creature.)
36 – 40
abandoned, but used by local satanists, (75% likely to also be haunted.)
41 – 43
a Bed & Breakfast establishment, (25% likely to also be haunted.)
44 – 46
being used to shoot a movie, (d6. 1=Horror, 2=Sci Fi, 3=Romance, 4=Art House Drama, 5=Experimental Art Film, 6=Road-trip Movie, 7=Documentary about a local legend, 8=Pornography.)
47 – 48
a private hospital, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
49 – 50
a Mob hospital, (50% likely to also be haunted.)
51 – 53
an asylum for the criminally insane, (75% likely to also be haunted.)
54 – 56
home to a clan of inbred cannibals, (25% likely to also be haunted.)
57 – 59
a secret hideout for Extraterrestrials,
60
a Vampire’s lair, (50% likely to also be haunted by the ghosts of the Vampire’s victims.)
61
a colony of 1d10 Werewolves, (50% likely to also be haunted by the ghosts of the Werewolves’ victims.)
62 – 64
an artist’s colony, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
65
a monastery, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
66
a convent, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
67 – 71
a brothel, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
72 – 73
an ashram, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
74 – 76
home to a Psychic, (75% likely to also be haunted.)
77
the meeting house of a secret society, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
78
the clubhouse of a local fraternal order, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
79 – 81
a biker clubhouse, (There will be d20+1 motorcycles on the property, both in and out of any garage. 10% likely to also be haunted.)
82
a way station for human trafficking, (50% likely to also be haunted.)
83 – 84
a way station for the drug trade, (50% likely to currently contain 1d100 kilos of drugs, with a courier and/ or guard. 25% likely to also be haunted.)
85 – 86
used by addicts to take drugs, (50% likely to also be haunted.)
87 – 89
a funeral parlor, (75% likely to also be haunted.)
90
a safehouse, (For the CIA, KGB, FBI, a domestic terrorist cell, etc. 5% likely to also be haunted.)
91 – 92
a hippie commune, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
93 – 94
a Jesus Freak commune, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
95 – 96
a Swinger’s Club, (25% likely to also be haunted.)
97 – 98
a taxidermist’s place of business, (50% likely to also be haunted by the ghosts of the animals.)
99
much larger on the inside than it appears on the outside, (House is haunted by multiple ghosts and spirits, and/or home to a powerful Magician.)
100
a gateway to Hell, (You’ve got worse problems than a haunting!)
d4
…but in recent history was…
1 – 2
used for the same purpose
3 – 4
used for another purpose entirely. (Roll again on Table 5. If the result indicates “just the residence of an ordinary family”, it mean the current family just moved in.)
Table 6: Cars on the Property
d20, 1d4 times
Parked on the property is a…
1
pickup truck,
2
delivery truck,
3
station wagon,
4
coupé utility vehicle.
5
two-door coupe,
6
convertible coupe,
7
four-door sedan,
8
sports car,
9
muscle car,
10
hot rod.
11
semi truck.
12
compact car
13
motorcycle,
14
customized “chopper” motorcycle,
15
moped,
16
van,
17
luxury car,
18
off-road vehicle,
19
hearse.
20
Cop Car. Skip next sub-table, and proceed to the one after.
d20
…painted…
1 – 2
black…
3 – 4
white…
5 – 6
dark blue…
7 – 8
metallic gray…
9
cherry red…
10
burgundy…
11
brown…
12
sky blue…
13
blue-green…
14
bright yellow…
15
mustard yellow…
16
orange…
17
forest green…
18
lime green…
19
pink…
20
purple…
d6
…and which is…
1
rusting up on cinder blocks.
2
wrecked.
3
in barely usable condition.
4 – 5
in serviceable condition.
6
obviously well-taken care of.
Note: These cars are in addition to any on the property on account of its current use – for example, the motorcycles of a biker gang.
The latest post in the Uncanny Highway series details the Trailer Parks of U.S. Route 28.
Table 1: Reason to Stop at a Trailer Park
d4
Your attention is attracted by the…
1
sign on the highway advertising a concert.
2
sign on the highway advertising a “no questions asked” pawn broker.
3
sign on the highway advertising “The best barbecue in the state”.
4
sign on the highway advertising Psychic readings.
Table 2: Trailer Park Name
d20, d20
This Trailer Park is named…
1
Shady
Acres
2
Green
Woods
3
Sunny
Forest
4
Verdant
Fields
5
Pleasant
Hill
6
Restful
Creek
7
Happy
Lawn
8
Rainbow
Garden
9
God’s Good
Shelter
10
Rich
Castle
11
Jackpot
Homes
12
Jack & Jill(‘s)
Mount
13
Christian
Court
14
Cozy
Lane
15
Stag
Park
16
Roadside
Square
17
Highway
Hitch
18
Indian
Stop
19
Pretty
Rest
20
Welcome
Promise
Table 3: Size of the Park
d8
The number of homes in the park is…
1
6+d6
2 – 3
12+d8
4 – 5
20+d10
6
30+d12
7
40+d20
8
50+d100
Table 4: Trailer Park Enclosure
d12
The Trailer Park is enclosed by…
1 – 3
nothing.
4 – 6
speed bumps.
7 – 8
a chain link fence.
9
a chain link fence topped with barbed wire.
10
a white picket fence.
11
a split-rail fence.
12
a brick wall.
Table 5: Trailer Park Amenities
d20, 1d6 times.
Residents enjoy…
1
no amenities – it is literally just a lot to park in. Stop rolling if this is the first result. Re-roll if you’ve already determined other Amenities.
2 – 6
full water, electrical, and sewage hookups.
7
transport by mini-bus for residents
8
a swimming pool. Will be next to the Clubhouse, if one is present.
9
a softball diamond
10
playground equipment
11
a concert stage.
12
an ice machine.
13
a soda vending machine.
14
a candy and potato chip vending machine.
15
a communal fire pit.
16
benches.
17
grills.
18
a Clubhouse for residents. Any Community Activities will be in or near the Clubhouse.
19
bathroom and toilet facilities. For the use of residents living out of travel trailers, teardrop trailer, or camper vans.
20
a basketball court.
Table 6: Trailer And Mobile Home Types
d20
The home occupying this lot is a…
1
parked car and small travel trailer.
2
parked car and small teardrop trailer.
3
parked camper van.
4
parked cab-over motorhome.
5
single-wide streamlined stainless steel trailer with visible wheels.
6
single-wide streamlined stainless steel trailer without visible wheels.
7
single-wide flat-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and visible wheels.
8
single-wide flat-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and no visible wheels.
9
single-wide peak-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and visible wheels.
10
single-wide peak-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and no visible wheels.
11
converted yellow school bus.
12
converted tour bus.
13
double-wide streamlined stainless steel trailer with visible wheels
14
double-wide streamlined stainless steel trailer without visible wheels
15
double-wide flat-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and visible wheels.
16
double-wide flat-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides and no visible wheels.
17
double-wide peak-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and visible wheels.
18
double-wide peak-roofed trailer, with painted aluminum sides, and no visible wheels.
19
flat-roofed, prefabricated ranch house.
20
peak-roofed, prefabricated ranch house.
Table 7: Items Outside a Trailer Park Home
d100, 1d6 times
Outside this home is / are…
1 – 20
a parked car.
21 – 25
a motorcycle.
26 – 29
a bicycle.
30 – 31
a moped.
32 – 35
a mailbox.
36 – 37
an exterior TV antenna.
38 – 40
a trash can.
41 – 42
an exterior propane tank.
43 – 44
a lattice or picket fence.
45 – 46
a clothesline.
47 – 48
a sawhorse.
49 – 50
a barbecue smoker.
51 – 52
a portable grill
53 – 54
a pink flamingo figure
55 – 56
1d4 artificial sunflowers
57 – 58
1d4 pieces of 2 x 4 lumber.
59 – 60
wind chimes.
61 – 62
a doll.
63 – 64
a hobby horse.
65 – 66
a garden gnome
67 – 68
a children’s lemonade stand. Even if there are no children to staff it!
69 – 70
a plastic lawn chair.
71 – 72
a plastic table.
73 – 74
1d4 plants in plastic tubs.
75 – 76
a kiddie pool. The kind you fill with a garden hose. During the summer it is 25% likely an adult is sitting in it.
77 – 78
1d6 rusting car parts.
79 – 80
a cinder block.
82 – 83
a car up on cinder blocks.
84 – 85
a couch.
90 – 91
an ice cooler.
92 – 93
a doghouse. 75% likely to house a dog.
94 – 95
a metal drum.
96 – 97
a plastic bucket.
98 – 99
a concrete birdbath.
100
a store mannequin.
Table 8: The Trailer Park Manager
d12
The Manager is apparently…
1
a greasy sleazeball…
2
a religious fanatic…
3
a competent jack-of-all-trades…
4
an aggressive ex-Marine…
5
a shady ex-con…
6
a failed musician who is usually playing their guitar…
7
a man who screams everything he says
8
an ex-cop who is appears suspicious of everyone…
9
a mature and motherly woman…
10
an incorrigible gossip…
11
an elderly man who is usually asleep…
12
an elderly woman who feigns deafness…
d20
…who is actually…
1 – 9
just what they appear to be.
10
a C.I.A. agent.
11
a K.G.B agent.
12
an undercover cop investigating a criminal ring.
13
a Demon Hunter on the lookout for Evil.
14
an android.
15
the servant of a Vampire.
16
a Psychic or Miracle Worker.
17
a Satanic cultist.
18
a Werewolf.
19
an Extraterrestrial.
20
one of the Fairy Folk.
Table 9: Notable Trailer Park Residents
d20, 1d6 times.
Everyone in the Park knows…
1
the Right-Wing conspiracy theorist who talks incessantly about “The Commies in Hollywood”, and “The Pinkos in New York”.
2
the Left-Wing conspiracy theorist who talks incessantly about “The Man”, and “The Military-Industrial Complex”.
3
the aging beauty queen who propositions every young man.
4
the Vietnam vet who collects weapons. Lots of weapons.
5
the handsome but slightly sleazy Trailer Park Gigolo.
6
the U.F.O enthusiast, with the inside of his trailer papered with photos and magazine articles.
7
the cross-dressing ex-boxer.
8
the woman Truck Driver who can beat any man at arm-wrestling.
9
the Barbecue Master, who eats, breathes, and lives slow-cooked meat.
10
the sly Pawn Broker who runs his business of of his trailer – and may be a fence for stolen goods.
11
the teenage Rock n’ Roller with big dreams of stardom.
12
the down-on-his-luck author who has been everywhere – but wound up here.
13
the popular and pretty cheerleader, who everyone at school thinks lives in a big suburban house.
14
the bighearted stripper who always helps out the less-fortunate residents.
15
the melodramatic Psychic reader who fakes an Eastern European accent – but may actually have real powers.
16
Big Momma, to whom everyone listens – if they know what’s good for them!
17
the Mean Old Man who has been here forever.
18
the woman with all the cats.
19
the religious fanatic who is constantly handing out tracts, and telling everyone that Jesus is returning soon.
20
that nice young man who always keeps to himself and doesn’t bother anyone – except sometimes there’s a rotten smell coming from his trailer.
Repeated results mean there are several individuals of that type in the Park!
Table 10: Average Residents of a Trailer Park
d10
This trailer is inhabited by…
1
a single man.
2
a single woman.
3
two men. 50% chance to actually be a Gay couple.
4
two women. 50% chance to actually be a Lesbian couple.
5
a married man and woman, with no children.
6
an unmarried man and woman, with no children.
7
a married man and woman, with d4 children.
8
an unmarried man and woman, with d4 children.
9
a single mother with d4 children.
10
a single father with d4 children.
Table 11: Community Activities in a Trailer Park
d10
Tonight, there is…
1 – 10
no event.
11 – 12
Bingo.
13
Movie Night. Movie is a poor-quality print, which may or may not be projected onto an actual screen. Determine the title of the movie with the tables for Drive-In Theaters.
14 – 15
poker.
16
softball.
17
a Chinese Auction.
18
a bonfire.
19
a concert.
20
a swim party. If there is no permanent swimming pool, everyone just hangs out around one or more kiddie pools.
Table 12: Criminal Activity in a Trailer Park
d10
This Trailer Park is used for…
1 – 3
no criminal activity, because the honest residents put a stop to it!
4
making methamphetamine.
5
smuggling.
6
drug dealing.
7
prostitution. Either prostitutes who work the nearest Truck Stop (or Motel) live here (with their Pimp if they have one), or there is a prostitution ring actually operating out of the Trailer Park.
8
stashing stolen goods.
9
fencing stolen goods.
10
counterfeiting money. One of the larger homes has a printing press inside.
Table 13: Dark Secret of the Trailer Park
d12
The shocking fact about the Trailer Park is…
1
it’s built directly atop a network of caverns inhabited by degenerate cannibals.
2
one of the residents is a serial killer.
3
it’s built atop an “Indian” Burial Ground!
4
the site is former cemetery – only the headstones were moved.
5
it’s part of a C.I.A. mind control experiment.
6
it’s built atop a toxic waste dump, which is turning residents into cannibalistic Zombies.
7
it’s home to a werewolf pack.
8
it’s haunted by the ghost of murdered former resident.
9
it’s the lair of a Vampire.
10
the residents are frequently abducted by Extraterrestrials.
11
its Mob-owned
12
it’s completely illegal – the owner doesn’t have any necessary licenses, and doesn’t pay any taxes.
Table 14: Overnight Events in a Trailer Park
d20
Tonight…
1
a U.F.O descends above one of the homes, and abducts a resident with a beam of light.
2
Jesus comes to visit in disguise.
3
Government Agents come to take away a little girl who is already a powerful and dangerous Psychic.
4
a propane tank explodes!
5
a sinkhole open up to the caverns below.
6
a bear, or other large animal, wanders into the Park.
7
there is a gunfight between two residents.
8
an Outlaw Biker gangs rolls in, demanding that the residents give up someone who vandalized one of the gang’s bikes at a nearby bar or truck stop.
9
a violent domestic dispute spills out into the common area.
10
a U.F.O. appears overhead, but does not land.
11
the windows of a home suddenly, and inexplicably, shatter.
12
the residents of a trailer unexpectedly vacate it.
13
a cop is seen inspecting several of the homes.
14
The Manager is seen dancing in an empty lot, to music only they can hear.
15
a meteorite crashes into one of the homes.
16
a mysterious baby with no belly button suddenly appears in one of the empty lots.
17
1d4 teenagers start knocking on doors, screaming that they are being chased by a psycho killer.
18
there are strange colored lights and an odd buzzing noise coming from one of the homes.
19
a resident teenager is loudly playing the guitar (or drums).
For many lost on the Uncanny Highway of U.S. Route 28, the motel is as close as they may ever come to a home again. They stay for a night – or maybe just an hour. Most believe they are going somewhere else. Others know that once the road claims you as its own, it never lets you go.
Motel Architecture
d20
The architectural style of the motel is…
1
faux Aztec or Native American.
2
faux “Tudor”.
3
faux medieval castle.
4 – 5
Space-Age Googie.
6
Southwestern / Adobe
7
faux Polynesian (“Tiki”).
8
log cabin.
9 – 12
nondescript brick.
13 – 16
nondescript concrete & stucco.
17 – 20
nondescript clapboard.
Motel Layout
d20
The basic layout of the motel is…
1 – 3
a long rectangle on a single level. The parking lot in in front.
4 – 6
a long rectangle on two levels. The parking lot in in front.
7
a long rectangle on three levels. The parking lot in in front.
8
an “L” surrounding the parking lot, on a single level.
9
an “L” surrounding the parking lot, on two levels.
10
an “L” surrounding the parking lot, on three levels.
11
an “L” surrounding the rear courtyard, on a single level. The parking lot in in front.
12
an “L” surrounding the rear courtyard, on two levels. The parking lot in in front.
13
an “L” surrounding the rear courtyard, on three levels. The parking lot in in front.
14
A “U” surrounding the parking lot, on a single level.
15
A “U” surrounding the parking lot, on two levels.
16
A “U” surrounding the parking lot, on three levels.
17
A “U” surrounding the rear courtyard, on a single level. The parking lot is in front.
18
A “U” surrounding the rear courtyard, on two levels. The parking lot is in front.
19
A “U” surrounding the rear courtyard, on three levels. The parking lot is in front.
20
several single units separated from each other. The office is a stand-alone building.
Motel Size
d10
The size of the motel is…
1 – 2
5 rooms per level.
3 – 5
10 rooms per level
6 – 7
15 rooms per level
8
20 rooms per level
9
25 rooms per level
10
30 rooms per level.
Motel Vacancy
d20
The rooms are…
1
Completely vacant.
2
10% occupied
2 – 4
20% occupied
5 – 6
30% occupied
7 – 8
40% occupied
9 – 17
50% occupied
18
60% occupied
17
70% occupied
18
80% occupied
19
90% occupied
20
100% occupied – no vacancy.
Front Desk Clerk
d6
The front desk clerk is…
1
a young woman… (50% likely to be the daughter of the owner.)
2
a young man… (50% likely to be the son of the owner.)
3
a mature woman… (50% likely to be the owner.)
4
a mature man… (50% likely to be the owner.)
5
an older woman… (75% likely to be the owner.)
6
an older man… (75% likely to be the owner.)
d20
who is notably…
1
nosy.
2
bored.
3
distracted.
4
flirty.
5
dim-witted.
6
hot-tempered.
7
cheerful.
8
unhelpful.
9
buxom / muscular.
10
pretty / handsome.
11
sleezy.
12
fidgety / twitchy.
13
of a foreign ethnicity.
14
thin.
15
corpulent.
16
ill.
17
bigoted.
18
tolerant and agreeable.
19
dirty and unkempt.
20
clean and neat.
Motel Room Cost
d12.
The price of a room is…
1
incredibly cheap. (How are they making any money?)
2
incredibly cheap. Plus, there are both hourly and half-hourly rates.
3
very reasonable.
4
very reasonable, and there are hourly rates.
5 – 6
average.
7 – 8
average, and there are hourly rates.
9
a little above average.
10
a little above average, but there are hourly rates.
11
expensive.
12
expensive, but there are hourly rates.
Motel Amenities
d12, 1d6 times
The amenities include…
1
a pool
2
an ice Machine or chest
3
a guest lounge
4
free coffee & tea
5
free donuts
6
1d4 vending machines
7
free newspapers
8
a rack of magazines for sale
9
local travel brochures
10
laundry facilities
11
gas pumps.
12
“efficiency” rooms with kitchen facilities.
Motel Room Decor
d20, twice
Beyond the bed, your room has…
1
a coin-operated “magic fingers” machine. (Insert a quarter into the timing device bedside the bed, and the bed will vibrate for 15 minutes.)
2
a desk.
3 – 4
a chair.
5
a closet.
6
an ironing board.
7
a television.
8 – 10
a radio.
11 – 12
a telephone.
13
1d4 kitschy paintings. (Overly-vibrant landscapes, sad-eyed clowns, Western scenes, Elvis, Jesus, etc. Some or all of them might be on black velvet.)
14
1d4 sculptures
15 – 18
it’s own bathroom, with a tub.
19
a shower.
20
a small selection of books (besides the Bible).
Notable Feature of a Motel Room
d20
The most notable thing about the room is…
1
it looks as though it is seldom cleaned.
2
it is so clean it looks as though it is never used.
3
the groovy shag carpeting.
4
the stucco walls, with many sharp points.
5
the pine veneer paneling.
6
it is decorated in an exotic style completely incongruous to the exterior of the building.
7
the potted plants on the windowsill.
8
the psychedelic wallpaper.
9
the sliding glass door to the outside.
10
the mirror above the bed.
11
the smell – caused by a dead hooker inside the hollowed-out mattress.
12
the colored light bulbs
13
the odd color of the walls
14
the incongruous style of the furniture.
15
the obvious signs of vermin.
16
the odd humming sound that comes from no obvious source.
17
the constant sound of whispering.
18
a single article of clothing left on a chair, in a drawer, or in in a closet. If the clothing is moved or discarded, it will reappear in its original position the next morning.
19
the mold.
20
the walls seem so thing you can hear everything happening in the next room.
Motel Room Bible
d12
The Bible in this room is…
1 – 3
unremarkable.
4
actually another book, disguised as a Bible.
5
filled with dollar bills.
6
bloodstained.
7
annotated, with many comments and underlined passages.
8
bound in a strange, unidentifiable leather.
9
oddly expensive looking.
10
cheaply printed on newsprint paper.
11
filled with photographs of unknown people.
12
bookmarked with playing cards.
Motel Vending Machines
d20, 3d4 times
The vending machines dispense…
1
cola.
2
ginger-ale.
3
iced-tea.
4
coffee.
5
hot tea.
6
potato chips.
7
pretzels.
8
peanuts.
9
chocolate bars
10
candies (other than chocolate).
11
deodorant
12
toothpaste
13
soap.
14
aspirin.
15
antihistamines.
16
adhesive bandages.
17
shaving razors.
18
feminine hygiene products.
19
knives.
20
shoelaces.
Multiples of the same result indicate multiple brands or varieties are available.
Motel Guests
d100
Current guests include…
1 – 5
an average American family (Husband, Wife, +1d4 children).
6 – 9
a single mother with 1d4 children.
10 – 13
a single man, traveling to a new job.
14 – 16
a single woman, traveling to a new job.
17 – 20
a trucker.
21 – 24
a trucker couple.
25 – 27
a biker.
28 – 30
a biker couple.
31 – 32
prostitute with a client.
33 – 35
traveling salesman.
36 – 38
housewife who has left her husband.
39 – 41
husband thrown out of his house by his wife.
42 – 44
a road worker.
45 – 47
a lineworker (person who maintains phone and electrical lines).
48 – 50
a family of migrant workers.
51 -53
a runaway girl.
54 – 56
a runaway boy.
57 – 59
a pimp.
60 – 62
a drug addict/alcoholic on a binge.
63 – 65
an undercover cop.
66 – 68
a carnival worker.
69 – 71
a preacher, priest, or other clergyperson.
72 – 74
a photographer seeking to document America.
75 – 76
a journalist on assignment.
77 – 78
a scientist (d6. 1=archeologist, 2=geologist, 3=biologist, 4=botanist, 5=astronomer, 6=meteorologist,)
79 – 80
a film crew making pornographic movies.
81 – 82
a drug dealer.
83 – 84
a gay or lesbian couple, trying not to be recognized.
85 – 86
a “transvestite” (cross-dresser).
87 – 88
police performing surveillance.
89 – 90
a federal agent on assignment.
91 – 92
an escapee from prison.
93 – 94
a thief on the run.
95 – 96
a couple on a crime spree.
97 – 98
a serial killer.
99
1d4 clown(s). In makeup.
100
an extraterrestrial or supernatural being.
TV Stations
d12
This station is playing…
1
a horror movie.
2
a movie about World War II.
3
a romance movie.
4
a mystery movie.
5
a historical movie (other than World War II).
6
a sitcom.
7
a dramatic series.
8
a game show.
9
a variety show.
10
a concert special.
11
a regular news show.
12
a breaking news bulletin (roll again to determine the interrupted show)
There will be 1d4+1 stations available.
American TV stations have 4-letter designations. Those west of the Mississippi River have the initial letter “K”, while those east of it begin with a “W”
Motel Events
d20
During the course of your stay…
1
the police raid one of the rooms.
2
a woman runs out of a room (50% each to be Naked, Screaming, Bloody, Insane, and/or Violent.)
3
a room explodes from the inside.
4
a strange colored vapor begins emanating from a room.
5
animalistic howls and growls can be heard coming from a room.
6
the windows of a room shatter for no apparent reason.
7
someone drowns in the pool, falls from a balcony, or is run down by a car in the parking lot.
8
a sinkhole opens up under the pool (if present) or parking lot. (d6. Underneath is…[1] a secret Government facility, [2] forgotten catacombs, [3] a forgotten section of storm sewer, [4] a UFO base, [5] a sleeping monster, [6] a subterranean city.)
9
a pack of wild dogs enters the motel grounds.
10
a biker gang enters the motel grounds and goes on a rampage.
11
a shootout starts in the motel parking lot.
12
dead birds start falling from the sky.
13
a man begins knocking on every door frantically, claiming that his wife has disappeared.
14
you are awakened by a supernatural entity in your room. (d6. 1=Ghost, 2=Incubus/Succubus, 3=Vampyre, 4=Fairy, 5=Angel, 6=Extraterrestrial(s))
15
a UFO appears overhead.
16
you receive a phone call from a dead relative.
17
the walls of your room begin bleeding.
18
an inexplicable banging sound is heard throughout the motel.
19
a private detective knocks on the door, looking for information about a missing person.
20
there is a knock on the door, but there is nobody on the other side.
Motel Secrets
d20
The most unsettlingfact about this motel is…
1
it is the center of the local drug trade.
2
it is the center of the local prostitution trade.
3
the owner has installed peep-holes in every room.
4
it its just a money-laundering operation for the local mob.
5
it is the hunting ground of a serial killer.
6
guests are secretly filmed, an the movies sold as pornography.
7
guests become the subject of a CIA mind-control experiment.
8
illegal bare-knuckle fights occur there.
9
some guest are killed, and ground up as meat.
10
it was built directly atop an “Indian” (Native American) burial ground.
11
the local Vampyre uses it as their primary feeding ground.
12
a kidnapped person is being held for ransom in one of the rooms. (d6. Person is… [1] a mature man. [2] a mature man. [3] a teenage boy. [4] a teenage girl. [5] a young boy. [6] a young girl.)
13
the owner is an extraterrestrial.
14
the previous owner murdered his entire family with an axe.
15
one or more of the rooms is actually used to grow marijuana hydroponically.
16
one of the rooms is actually a fully appointed Satanic temple.
17
local people often check in to commit suicide here.
18
there is one room that is never rented, and the clerk refuses to say why.
19
it was once the site of a mass-murder. (75% likely the victims’ ghosts still haunt the motel)
20
every other curent guest besides the PCs is actually a supernatural entity of some kind.
Heaven and Hell meet in the truck stops of the Uncanny Highway – sometimes, literally. During the “Groovy Age” of the 1960s and 1970s, American truck stops were generally smaller – and more numerous – than the massive ones to be found on highways today. The road-weary trucker could pull in to get gas, have their rig weighed, get repairs done, have a meal, take a shower, rest in the lounge room, rent a bed, do laundry, clean their truck, buy supplies – and possibly indulge their vices.
“Groovy Age” truck stops constituted a demimonde largely hidden from the eyes of non-truckers, and the following tables can set up some extremely dark and gritty scenarios. Naturally, you should edit the results to reflect the comfort level of your group.
Truck Stop Theme
d20
The overall design of the main building is…
1
Tiki.
2
Space-Age “Googie”.
3
Old West Boomtown.
4
faux adobe.
5
a rustic log cabin.
6
Art Deco chrome.
7
a faux castle.
8
faux Chinese.
9 – 10
plain brick, and in good repair.
11 – 12
plain brick, and in a state of disrepair.
13 – 14
plain clapboard, and in good repair.
15 – 16
plain clapboard, and in a state of disrepair.
17 – 18
stucco-faced brick, and in good repair.
19 – 20
stucco-faced brick, and in a state of disrepair.
The Parking Lot
d20
The parking lot is built for…
1 – 2
10 rigs
3 – 4
15 rigs
5 – 6
20 rigs
7 – 8
25 rigs
9 – 10
30 rigs
11 – 12
35 rigs
13
40 rigs
14
50 rigs
15
55 rigs
16
60 rigs
17
65 rigs
18
70 rigs
19
75 rigs
20
80 rigs
d12
and is currently occupied..
1
10%
2
20%
3
30%
4
40%
5 – 8
50%
9
60%
10
70%
11
80%
12
90%
d20
Besides trucks, the other cars in the lot include…
1 – 2
a motorcycle.
3
a “chopper” motorcycle.
4
a highway patrol car.
5
a highway patrol motorcycle.
6
a decorated “Hippie Van”.
7
a rock band’s Tour Bus.
8
a 2-door coupe.
9
a Camper Van or Motorhome
10
an El Camino.
12
a plain white van with blacked-out windows.
13
a family station wagon.
14
a plain four-door sedan.
15
a 1950s model Cadillac Eldorado – with big rear fins.
16
a sporty convertible.
17
a muscle car.
18
a Volkswagen Beetle.
19
a European sportscar.
20
a pickup truck.
There is a 50% chance per hour spent (sleeping or idling) in the Parking Lot that a “Lot Lizard” (prostitute) will knock on the car (or truck) door.
Truck Cargoes
d100
This rig is hauling…
1 – 2
Auto Parts.
3 – 4
Beef.
5 – 6
Beer.
7 – 8
Bicycles.
9 – 10
Birdseed.
11 – 12
Books and Magazines.
13 – 14
Cameras & Film Equipment.
15 – 16
Cars.
17 – 18
Chicken.
19 – 20
Children’s Clothing.
21 – 22
Cigarettes and Tobacco.
23 – 24
Distilled Spirits & Liquors.
25 – 26
Flour.
27 – 28
Frozen Foods
29 – 30
Fruits and Vegetables.
31 – 32
Furniture.
33 – 34
Gasoline.
35 – 36
Guns
37 – 38
Hazardous Chemicals.
39 – 40
Heating Oil.
41 – 42
Household Cleaners.
43 – 44
Lawn Supplies.
45 – 46
LP Records and 8-Tracks.
47 – 48
Lumber.
49 – 50
Makeup & Beauty Supplies.
51 –52
Men’s Clothing
53 – 54
Motorcycles.
55 – 56
Movie Reels.
57 – 58
Non-hazardous Chemicals.
59 – 60
Nuts.
61 – 62
Orange Juice.
63 – 64
Paint.
65 – 66
Pharmaceuticals.
67 – 68
Plumbing Fixtures.
69 – 70
Pork Products.
71 – 72
Record Players and Radios.
73 – 74
Salt.
75 – 76
Snack Foods.
77 – 78
Televisions.
79 – 80
Toilet Paper and other Paper Products.
81 – 82
Tools & Hardware.
83 – 84
Toys and Novelties.
85 – 86
Wine.
87 – 88
Women’s Clothing.
89 – 90
Gravel or Asphalt.
91 – 92
Batteries.
93 – 95
Illegal Drugs. (Roll again to determine cover cargo, ignoring results above 92.)
96– 97
Illegal immigrants. (Roll again to determine cover cargo, ignoring results above 92.)
98
1d6 kidnapped young women being sold into sex slavery. (Roll again to determine cover cargo, ignoring results above 92. Women are imprisoned in the trailer, behind a false wall.)
99
Dead Extraterrestrials and parts of a Flying Saucer. (Roll again to determine cover cargo, ignoring results above 92.)
100
A Vampyre’s coffin. (Roll again to determine cover cargo, ignoring results above 92.)
Gas & Diesel Pumps
d12
The gas and diesel are…
1
cheap, but high quality.
2
cheap, and average quality.
3
cheap, but low quality.
4 – 7
average price and quality.
8
average price, but high quality.
9
average price, but low quality.
10
expensive, but high quality.
11
expensive, but only average quality.
12
both expensive and low quality – a real rip-off!
Mechanic
d6
The on-site mechanic is…
1
barely competent.
2
a mechanical genius who can fix anything cheap.
3
an arrogant a**hole who thinks he’s better than everyone else.
4
an ex-con out on parole.
5
rude and crude, but knows his stuff.
6
a shady character who will look the other way at anything illegal – for a price.
Carwashing
d6
Trucks can be washed by…
1 – 2
the patrons themselves, with provided rags and soapy water.
3
the owner’s grumbling son.
4
a young man with a bad attitude.
5
an ex-con who needs the job.
6
the owner’s flirty daughter.
Restaurant
d20
The waitress is…
1
sassy,
2
kind and understanding,
3
educated and well-spoken,
4
tired and weary,
5
gruff,
6
very pretty,
7
a chain smoker,
8
always gossiping,
9
a thief,
10
sickly-looking,
11
heavy-set,
12
foreign,
13
a teenager,
14
an ex-con,
15
also a prostitute,
16
very flirty,
17 – 18
the owner’s wife,
19
the owner’s daughter,
20
actually a supernatural creature in disguise, (Angel, Devil, Vampyre, Terrestrial Sprite, Amorous Revenent, etc.)
d8
…the food is…
1 – 3
greasy and typical for the area,
4
typical but disgusting,
5 – 6
typical for the area and surprisingly tasty,
7
an unexpected foreign cuisine,
8
only one thing (hamburgers, chili, etc.),
d6
…and the coffee is…
1 – 2
mediocre.
3
strong and tasty.
4 – 5
like burning rubber, but it gets the job done.
6
weak and watery.
7
filled with grounds.
8
vile and fishy.
75% chance the Restaurant has a section where only truckers are allowed to sit.
The Lounge
d20, d6 times.
Besides [2d8] chairs, you see…
1
a radio.
2
a black and white television.
3
a color television.
4
a couch.
5
unemptied ashtrays everywhere.
6
1d8 magazines.
7
1d4 small tables.
8
a pinball machine.
9
an electric fireplace.
10
a cross on the wall.
11
cheap framed paintings.
12
1d4 cheap paperback books.
13
a newspaper.
14
a bible.
15
1d6 religious tracts.
16
knotty pine paneling.
17
taxidermy deer heads on the wall.
18
taxidermy fish on the wall.
19
Teamster Union literature
20
a pool table.
Lounge, Restaurant, and Shop Encounters
d8+d12, 1d6 times
The current patrons include:
2
Jesus or Satan himself, disguised as a trucker. (50% chance of both, playing cards or chess for souls)
3
a lost family on vacation.
4
a women on the run from her bad marriage, or abusive boyfriend.
5
a recently discharged soldier.
6
a highway police officer.
7
1d4 teenagers. (Runaways, hippies, etc.)
8
a happy trucker.
9
a mean trucker looking for trouble.
10
a lonely trucker, looking for company.
11
a biker.
12
a “lot lizard” (prostitute).
13
a trucker couple.
14
a traveling salesman.
15
a pimp. If the prostitutes working this truck stop do not have a pimp, he is looking to recruit them –or else to find runaways he can “turn out”.
16
1d6 musicians on tour.
17
a desperate father, looking for his runaway daughter.
18
a cargo pirate. Looks like any other Trucker. Will be very interested in finding out what any truckers are hauling, so they can steal it.
19
a couple on an interstate crime spree.
20
a serial killer looking for victims. 75% likely to look just like any other trucker.
Bathrooms
d20
This bathroom is…
1 – 3
clean and bright.
4 – 5
clean, but drab.
6 – 7
dreary.
8
disgustingly foul, and looks like it is seldom cleaned.
9 – 10
very dimly-lit.
11
covered in graffiti.
12 – 13
decorated in a nautical theme.
14
covered in newspapers.
15
in the middle of a renovation.
16
oddly modern and fashionable.
17 – 18
a mess, from what looks like a recent fight or struggle.
19
spattered with fresh blood.
20
literally a gateway to Hell.
65% Chance that a Truck Stop actually has separate bathrooms for men and women.
Bathroom Patrons
d20
Besides yourself there is…
1
nobody else.
1 -2
a Biker, or Biker Mama/Old Lady.
3
a Biker, or Biker Mama/Old Lady, taking drugs.
4
a drug dealer.
5
a highway patrolman.
6 – 11
a trucker, or trucker’s wife/girlfriend.
12
a trucker, or trucker’s wife/girlfriend, taking drugs.
13
an ordinary traveler.
14
a teenage runaway.
15
a child by themselves.
16
a migrant worker or musician on tour.
17
a couple having sex in a stall.
18
a “lot lizard” (men’s room) or a pimp (women’s bathroom).
19
a nondescript person apparently waiting for someone else, or someone looking for casual gay sex (late night only).
20
a supernatural creature (Vampyre, Werewolf, Restless Specter, Phantom, etc.)
Showers
d20
The showers are…
1 – 6
clean and cheap.
7
clean, but expensive.
8
clean, cheap, and regularly used for prostitution.
9
clean, expensive, regularly used for prostitution.
10
clean, cheap, and a meeting place for casual gay sex late at night.
11
clean, expensive, and a meeting place for casual gay sex late at night.
12
clean, expensive, and used for prostitution.
13 – 15
filthy and cheap.
16
filthy and expensive.
17
filthy, cheap, and used for prostitution.
18
filthy, expensive, and used for prostitution.
19
filthy, cheap, and a meeting place for casual gay sex late at night.
20
filthy, expensive, and a meeting place for casual gay sex late at night.
Bunks
d6
The bunks are…
1
just 2d6 beds in a single room.
2
small individual rooms, little bigger than the beds.
3
small individual rooms, little bigger than the beds, and very dirty.
4
almost like regular motel rooms.
5
almost like regular motel rooms, but very expensive.
6
almost like regular motel rooms, but very dirty.
Laundry
d12
The laundry facility is…
1
small, but clean.
2
small and filthy.
3
small, filthy, and the floor is wet.
4 – 5
average in size, and clean.
6
average in size, but filthy.
7
average in size and the floor is wet.
8
large, but clean.
9
large and filthy.
10
large, filthy, and the floor is wet.
11 – 12
full-service, and truckers can drop off laundry to be picked-up later.
Vending Machines
d20, 2d4 times
The vending machines dispense
1
adhesive bandages.
2
antihistamines.
3
aspirin.
4 – 5
caffeine pills
6
candies (other than chocolate).
7
chocolate bars
8
coffee.
9
cola.
10
deodorant
11
ginger-ale.
12
iced-tea.
13
knives.
14
peanuts.
15
potato chips.
16
pretzels.
17
shaving razors.
18
shoelaces.
19
soap.
20
toothpaste.
Repeated rolls indicate a wide selection of the indicated item.
A repeated result indicates an especially large selection of the indicated item.
Drugs
d6
If you’re looking to score something stronger than coffee, you can get…
1
nothing else here – the owner doesn’t tolerate drug dealing.
2
Speed (amphetamine pills)…
3
Crank (methamphetamine)…
4
Cocaine
5
Marijuana…
6
Speed, Crank, Cocaine, and Marijuana…
d10
from…
1
a Biker stationed in the parking lot.
2
a guy in the Lounge.
3
the shopkeeper (or owner).
4
the cook in the restaurant.
5
the waitress in the restaurant.
6
the mechanic.
7
the car washer (or a guy hanging out by the washing station)
8
a “lot lizard”.
9
the local pimp.
10
the back of a truck that never seems to leave the lot.
“Lot Lizards”
d10
At this truck stop, the prostitute(s) is/are…
1 – 2
not welcome – the owner calls the police as soon as they show up.
3 – 4
1d4 adult(s) working for a pimp. (Ages are 17+d12.)
5 – 6
1d4 adult(s) working independently. (Ages are 17+d20.)
7 – 8
1d4 middle-aged adult(s) working independently. (Ages are 35+d20.)
9
1d4 foreign adult(s) working for a pimp. (Ages are 17+d12.)
10
1d4 adolescent(s) working for a pimp. (Ages are 11+d6.) (Naturally, you should ignore or re-roll this result if you find the possibility too distressing, or you’d rather not play out any “Taxi Driver”-like vigilante scenarios.)
95% chance a prostitute is female, and 5% chance a prostitute is male. (If the prostitute is male there is a 50% chance he is cross-dressed.)
50% chance the prostitute is an alcoholic.
50% chance the prostitute is a drug addict. (Determine alcoholism and drug addiction separately. Many prostitutes are both alcoholics and drug-addicts.)
25% chance a prostitute will attempt to steal money or valuables.
25% chance a prostitute carries a sexually transmitted disease.
10% chance a prostitute is a distraction for something else. (Cargo theft, a CIA mind control experiment, etc.)
5% chance an adult prostitute is actually an undercover cop.
1% chance a prostitute is actually a supernatural creature in disguise. (Angel of Mercy, Seducer Devil, Terrestrial Sprite, Amorous Revenant, Restless Specter, Witch, Werewolf, Vampyre, the Incarnation of Death, etc.)
Face of a Female (or Cross-Dressed) Prostitute
D6, five times
Skin
Eyes
Hair Color
Hair Style
Makeup
1
Very pale
Blue
Blonde
Bouffont or Beehive
Heavy and garish
2
Pale
Green
Light Brown
Afro
Heavy eye-makup only
3
Tanned
Gray
Red
Short, pixie or bob
Surprisingly well-done
4
Olive
Light Brown
Black
Long and straight
Badly-applied
5
Dark Olive
Dark Brown
Dirty Blonde
Flip
Surprising, non-standard colors
6
Black
Hazel
Dark Brown
Pigtails
None
Clothing of a Female (or Cross-Dressed) Prostitute
d6, four times
Jacket
Shirt
Pants / Dress
Shoes
1
Denim
Unbuttoned shirt or blouse, tied in the front
Mini-skirt *
Platform shoes
2
Leather
Brassiere / babydoll / lingerie top.
Hot-pants *
Mary janes
3
Short fur
Peasant blouse
Tights
Pumps
4
Suede, with fringed sleeves
Dashiki
Tight, bell-bottom jeans
Slippers
5
Short wool
T-shirt
Plaid skirt *
Flip-flops or sandals
6
Long wool
Camisole
Culottes *
Go Go boots
*d4: 1 = knee socks, 2=fishnet stocking, 3=pantyhose, 4=thigh high stockings, 5 – 6 = bare legs.
Male prostitutes not cross-dressed will usually look like any other Truck Stop patron.
“Lot Lizard” Hopes and Dreams
d20
If you catch them off guard, they might confess they want to…
1
go to Los Angeles and become a movie star
2
go to New York and become a Broadway star.
3
become a clothing designer.
4
open an auto shop.
5
open a bowling alley.
6
save up enough to buy a little cafe.
7
become a trucker themselves.
8
become a hairdresser.
9
escape “the life”, but it doesn’t seem possible.
10
become a madam / pimp themselves.
11
eventually get married and have a family.
12
become a preacher, and bring the good news of Jesus to other prostitutes.
13
get revenge on the relative that abused them as a child.
14
get revenge on the guy /girl who first got them hooked on dope, and made them start turning tricks.
15
get revenge on the serial killer they once escaped from.
16
get revenge on the cop who keeps extorting “freebies”.
17
write a book about their experiences.
18
contact the extraterrestrials, and escape this “sh*thole planet”.
19
find the Vampyre that supposedly hunts along this highway, and beg to be made immortal.
20
just go home, but they’re too ashamed.
Pimps
d20
The local pimp is…
1 – 3
an obviously violent and abusive monster.
4
actually the owner of the Truck Stop
5 – 6
a flamboyantly-dressed man.
7 – 9
a smooth-talking, well-dressed seducer.
10 – 11
a twitchy drug-addict.
12 – 13
an apparently even-tempered man in a suit.
14 – 15
a biker.
16 – 17
dressed like any other trucker.
18
actually the father or mother of a prostitute.
19
a nondescript man who looks like a typical suburban dad.
20
actually an extraterrestrial, or supernatural being.
Rumors and Gossip
d20
The current rumor around the Truck Stop is…
1
there’s a ghost rig that’s got no driver, but tries to run cars off the road.
2
there’s a killer working this highway, preying on girls.
3
U.F.O.s are constantly seen along this stretch of road.
4
every Wednesday night the parking lot becomes the place where every pimp in the state comes to trade prostitutes.
5
there’s a pack of werewolves that roam the area.
6
Jesus drives a rig that occasionally pulls into this lot!
7
the lot is built atop an Indian Burial Ground, and cursed.
8
the owner actually works for the C.I.A.
9
the owner takes a cut of every illegal deal that occurs here.
10
the owners wife /husband is buried under the parking lot.
11
the place is used as meeting ground by foreign spies.
12
the “Lot Lizards” all work for the KGB.
13
the road nearby is haunted by a Phantom Hitchhiker.
14
after 2 AM, a man with no face sometimes wander the edge of the parking lot.
15
the Apocalypse will begin soon, with a battle of Angels and Demons in the parking lot.
16
the ghost of a legendary driver still pulls their phantom rig into the parking lot.
17
unmarked military vehicles drive by occasionally. They don’t look like the U.S. Army, or even the National Guard.
18
One of the Lot Lizards is murdering truckers.
19
The Government puts tiny tracking devices into the gas, so they can track you everywhere you go.
20
The highway exits for Heaven and Hell are both nearby.
Truck Stop Events
d20
Unexpectedly…
1
a truck careens into the parking lot, hitting several parked rigs.
2
a bloodied woman escapes from the sleeping compartment of a parked truck.
3
1d4 police cars arrive to arrest the Lot Lizards (and their pimp if present).
4
you see a “lot lizard” douching with cola in the parking lot.
5
a Rock n’ Roll or Country & Western band’s tour bus pulls in.
6
a U.F.O appears overhead.
7
rival truckers (or bikers) begin shooting at each other.
8
there’s a stabbing in the Lounge (or Laundry Room).
9
blood is bubbling up from the drains in the showers.
10
a rig explodes in the parking lot.
11
a black luxury car with blacked-out windows and government license plates pulls into the lot. Out of it come 2d4 men in black suits and sunglasses, who proceed to break open the back of every trailer, and interrogate every trucker about their cargo.
12
a body falls from the sky.
13
an armed gang of obvious former prostitutes starts shooting at the pimp who runs the “lot lizards” here, or a violent pimp appears and begins roughing up a “lot lizard” until she agrees to work for him.
14
Mindless Revenants begin encircling the Truck Stop.
15
a rabid dog wanders into the parking lot, and begins attacking.
16
a van (or bus) full of “Jesus Freaks” pulls into the lot.
17
a van (or bus) full of nuns singing hymns pulls into the lot.
18
a van (or bus) full of Hare Krishnas pulls into the lot.
19
a film crew shooting a documentary wants to interview truckers and travelers.
20
a car full of rich college kids pulls in, looking to buy drugs and/or pickup prostitutes.
There are many unmarked exits off the Uncanny Highway of U.S. Route 28. Should anyone be curious (and foolish) enough to follow one, roll on the following table.
d100
This mysterious exit off the highway eventually leads to…
1 – 2
a volunteer firehouse.
3 – 4
a roller-rink.
5 – 6
a machine-gun firing range.
7 – 8
a brothel. (5% likely to actually be a part of a C.I.A. mind control experiment.)
9 – 10
the clubhouse of a motorcycle club (or gang).
11 – 12
a “gravity hill” (Place were objects appear to roll uphill.)
13 – 14
an abandoned hospital. (30% chance that all equipment was abandoned and left in place.)
15 – 16
an abandoned asylum. (30% chance that all equipment was abandoned and left in place.)
17 – 18
an abandoned drive-thru.
19 – 20
a Native American Reservation.
21 – 22
an abandoned house. (50% likely to be filled with Satanic graffiti.)
23 – 24
a strange house. (d8. The strange feature of the house is its: 1 = unusual architectural style. 2 = unusual materials. 3 = strangely colored windows. 4 = complete lack of windows. 5 = lack of any apparent door. 6 = holiday decorations kept up all year. 7 = obvious lack of electricity or telephone wires. 8 = odd paint-job.
25 – 26
a bizarre sculpture made of discarded items.
27 – 28
a working farm. (25% chance the farm is worked by a cult.)
29 – 30
an abandoned farm. (10% likely it is now a criminal hideout.)
31 – 32
a farm stand selling fresh produce. (Abandoned in winter.)
33 – 34
a lone, abandoned windmill.
35 – 36
a deserted town.
37 – 38
a mine.
39 – 40
an isolated, but functioning town. (25% chance the local “festival” is occurring)
41 – 42
a forgotten state (or national) park.
43 – 44
a factory. (10% chance all signage is in an unidentifiable language and alphabet, and it is impossible to figure out what the factory is producing).
45 – 46
an abandoned factory. (50% chance it is used teenagers for drinking and sex).
47 – 48
a well-maintained cemetery. (10% chance the tombstones are inscribed in a foreign, or unknown language.)
49 – 50
an overgrown, abandoned cemetery. (50% likely the deceased were members of an obscure religious cult.)
51 – 52
a natural cave. (30% likely to be a state park, or operated for profit.)
53 – 54
a pond or lake.
55 – 56
a field where a trailer or RV is parked.
57 – 58
a clearing where 1d4 unoccupied tents are pitched. (10% likely to find blood spattered inside the tents)
59 – 60
an active hobo camp.
61 – 62
an abandoned train depot.
63 – 64
an abandoned garage.
65 – 66
a utility complex. (Electric generator, sewage treatment plant, etc.)
67 – 68
a garbage dump.
69 – 70
a toxic (or radioactive) waste dump. (Save versus Constitution each Turn or become sickened.)
71 – 72
a bomb shelter.
73 – 74
an isolated church. (5% chance the religion practiced here isn’t Christianity at all.)
75 – 76
a Christian shrine. (25% chance the Saint honored is otherwise unknown.)
77 – 78
a pagan shrine.
79 – 80
a secret germ-warfare laboratory.
81 – 82
A C.I.A. (or K.G.B.) safehouse.
83 – 84
a solitary artist’s studio.
85 – 86
an active military base. (5% chance the soldiers are not American.)
87 – 88
an abandoned military base. (25% chance the evidence of a strange experiment is still here.)
89
a secret military base housing a U.F.O.
90 – 91
a dry well shaft. (5% chance a child is currently at the bottom.)
Although it has actually existed in the United States since the 1940s, CB (“Citizens Band”) radio really came of age with technological advances in the late 1960s. It exploded in popularity during the 70s – especially among truckers. By the 1970s most users were identifying themselves by self-chosen names, or “handles”, rather than the assigned call signs that were technically required under the law. In fact, before 1983 it was actually illegal to use a CB without a license in the U.S. – most users simply ignored the law, which was almost never enforced. In the days before the Internet and mobile phones, CB radio was the best means for truckers (and other drivers) to keep informed about hazards and opportunities along the road. And on the Uncanny Highway, the hazards of the road can be strange indeed!
Some results on the following table give two options separated by a slash. In general, GMs and Presenters can use the first option for a male, and the second for a female. Of course, players can also use the table to decide on CB handles for their PCs.
Remember that the 1960s were very sexist times, and in many towns single women could not actually sit at a bar and order drinks. In some places, women were prohibited from even entering drinking establishments unless they were accompanied by men. Some bars banned women altogether. By the 1970s, however, most gender-segregated bars were being legally forced to end their discriminatory practices. Of course, along the Uncanny Highway one can’t even be sure that all the patrons of a bar are human!
(d12, d6) The obviously tipsy woman says:
1
d6
I just left my man because…
1
he is cheating on me with his secretary.
2
I caught him with my own sister!
3
I found out he is actually a wanted criminal.
4
he has a whole other family in another state!
5
I found his disgusting collection of “dirty magazines”.
6
he beat me up again, but for the last time.
2
d6
My best friend…
1
wants me to get involved as one of her “distributors”. Somebody else told me its a “pyramid scheme”, but I don’t know.
2
wants me to go to some weird “self-help” seminar in the city.
3
know the number of a guy in the city who helps out women who’ve got a certain kind of problem. You know what I mean.
4
just joined this commune where they share everything. I mean, everything!
5
has been acting really weird lately, like she’s been replaced with a robot or something.
6
has been missing for a week now.
3
d6
Some guy is following me, and…
1
he’s just come into this bar.
2
I don’t think he’s even human.
3
nobody else can see him.
4
I know its because of what I saw.
5
I think he’s that guy who kidnapped all those women.
6
if he keeps it up he’s going to get shot!
4
d6
My family is driving me nuts because…
1
they keep wanting me to have a baby.
2
they want me to quit my job.
3
they want me to get married to some guy I’ve never met.
4
they want me to take my children to “The Festival”. Understand, my family been doing it for a very long time, but I just don’t want to any more.
5
I won’t take in my Grandma, even though she only eats raw meat.
6
my husband won’t loan my loser brother any more money.
5
d6
My child died because…
1
he was born without skin. The doctor insists the chemical factory had nothing to do with it.
2
my little boy killed her. Nobody believes me, but I know he’s evil.
3
he wandered off to that old abandoned house.
4
she ran onto the highway.
5
the Satanists killed her, and made it look like an accident.
6
some strange poison gas was released from the military base.
6
d6
I know it sounds crazy, but I think my husband might be…
1
a murderer.
2
planning to kill me.
3
a Satanist.
4
an alien.
5
a Soviet agent.
6
married to another woman.
7
d6
I just saw…
1
a man forcing a woman into a car in the parking lot.
2
someone being murdered!
3
a U.F.O.!
4
a werewolf!
5
an angel.
6
my own double!
8
d6
I found Jesus…
1
in women’s prison. But I swear I didn’t put that poison my husband’s drink.
2
after my family died in a gas explosion. Like I told the police, I was out visiting friends, and still feel so guilty.
3
and stopped hooking. Well, mostly.
4
after my boyfriend shot me and left me for dead.
5
after my children went missing.
6
when he stepped out of that U.F.O.
9
d6
I’ve lost…
1
my children, and need someone to help me find them.
2
my memory. How did I get here?
3
my way. Where am I?
4
my purse, and need someone to help me out.
5
a small package wrapped in brown paper. If you find it, don’t shake it.
6
my soul.
10
d6
I know you won’t believe it, but…
1
I can read your aura.
2
my dog can speak.
3
my child is the reincarnation of a soldier killed in the Second World War.
4
there’s a puddle of blood and slime in the restroom.
5
I’m actually nobility.
6
I can speak to the dead.
11
d6
It’s funny that…
1
my husband actually thinks it was his idea for us to become swingers!
2
nobody believes witches are real anymore.
3
some people think women are weak, because I just killed a man with my bare hands.
4
the P.T.A. thinks I’m a bad parent, with what I know about them!
5
people don’t realize what’s buried under the trailer park.
6
no one sees that Satan is alive and well – and living in this town!
12
d6
I know I shouldn’t think this, but…
1
my kids aren’t really mine at all.
2
maybe it’s a cop that’s responsible for all those body parts they keep finding on the side of the road.
3
I suspect my pastor knows more than he’s telling about those kids who disappeared last week.
4
I don’t think the soldiers that passed through town are even American.
5
I just want to run away from my family and go somewhere, anywhere, else.
The following tables assume the same 1960s and 1970s time frame as the other entries in the “Uncanny Highway” series. Naturally, many would also make good subjects for Country & Western songs!
(d12, d6) The obviously tipsy man says:
1
d6
My wife ran off with….
1
my best friend.
2
my own brother.
3
some college kid.
4
that guy who was working on our house.
5
a biker.
6
another woman.
2
d6
My dog was killed by…
1
a speeding big-rig. I didn’t get a look at the guy. Come to think of it, I don’t remember even seeing a driver at all.
2
my own wife. After she came back from that trip, he was growling at her all the time, and wouldn’t let her pet him any more.
3
my no-good neighbor, because my ol’ boy was digging up something in the yard.
4
some wild animal. I don’t know what it was exactly, but it sure was big!
5
frickin’ Satanists. They’re everywhere around here.
6
space aliens. They cut out his eyes and drained all his blood!
3
d6
My best friend…
1
is apparently banging my wife. I think I’m gonna do something about it – after I get good and liquored up!
2
turned out to be “one of them”. You know what I mean.
3
ratted on me to the IRS. I found those gold coins buried with that skeleton on my property, so I own them, fair and square.
4
just married some foreign chick who’s apparently “allergic to sunlight”.
5
is a cop, so I can get away with anything.
6
told me about some money supposedly stashed in an abandoned house.
4
d6
I’m waiting to be arrested, ‘cause I just killed…
1
my cheating wife.
2
that bastard that’s been banging my wife.
3
my cheating wife and her bastard lover.
4
my own brother.
5
the man they sent to kill me.
6
the sheriff.
5
d6
I lost all my money…
1
in Los Vegas.
2
to my wife in the divorce.
3
to that bastard I used to be in business with.
4
to the goddamn IRS.
5
playing the ponies.
6
on a bad real estate deal.
6
d6
I lost my job because…
1
some weird illegal immigrants took it. Funny thing is, I can’t even figure out what country they’re supposed to be from. They don’t speak any language I ever heard of.
2
of stupid Government regulations. We had to stop digging on that hill, but they wouldn’t tell us why.
3
someone made completely false allegations against me. I never met any of those women.
4
the boss’ wife thinks I “look like a criminal”.
5
the place got burned down. I think the boss did it for the insurance money.
6
my boss didn’t actually have any licenses or permits for what we were doing. Now, I can’t even find the bastard.
7
d6
I just made some easy money…
1
at the track.
2
burying some sacks for a guy. I didn’t ask what was inside, but they smelled really bad.
3
pouring a concrete floor for some guy who needed it done fast.
4
selling my camera and the pictures inside to a guy dressed in a black suit and sunglasses.
5
moving furniture in the middle of the night.
6
soundproofing a guy’s basement, and installing metal rings on the walls. He paid me much more than the job really costs. He also wanted a stain resistant floor that would be easy to mop up, but I don’t do floors.
8
d6
I just saw….
1
a ghost!
2
Bigfoot!
3
a U.F.O.!
3
Jesus!
4
the Devil!
5
a freakin’ tiger roaming the woods!
6
what a Federal agent look like without it’s human disguise!
9
d6
I don’t trust The Government, because…
1
I saw them packing dope in the body bags when I was in ‘Nam
2
the FBI just arrested my brother, who had nothing to do with those girls disappearing.
3
I’ve actually been aboard a U.F.O., and met the aliens. They look like you and me, but with big black eyes. You know, I could take you to meet them.
4
my pastor told me about all the Commies, International Bankers, and Radical Feminists that have infiltrated Congress.
5
when I was a cop they actually tried to recruit me into the Satanic coven that runs Washington D.C.
6
my friend whose a doctor told me the fluoride they put in the water is actuallya Soviet plot to make Americans too weak to resist a takeover.
10
d6
I found Jesus…
1
in prison. That’s when I got this here tattoo.
2
on the battlefield. Let me show you my scars.
3
in the midst of my divorce. The Lord told me he would take her back home to Heaven, and he did!
4
after my wife got murdered. They never did find out who did it, and I doubt they ever will.
5
when I was getting off junk. After the bugs stopped crawling under my skin, I saw The Lord clear as day.
6
while I was banging a hooker. I think she still works the truck-stop nearby.
11
d6
I bet you…
1
can’t tell what I’ve got hidden in my shirt. Go on, guess!
2
don’t know why I’ve got this here silver bullet.
3
can’t beat me at arm-wrestling.
4
can’t guess what I’ve got in my car.It’s a doozy!
5
don’t know why that guy over there is staring at us.
6
want to know about the weird crap that’s been going on.
12
d6
I’m leaving this town, because…
1
I found a good job driving delivery trucks from town to town. I could set you up too, if you can keep your mouth shut.
2
I got myself a “mail-order bride”. I swear she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve even seen. Thing is, she was raised in some weird religion that won’t let her eat salt, or have any iron in the house.
3
of all the weird murders.
4
There’s some guy who looks just like me doing some messed-up stuff, and the cops have got it in for me.
5
I know what what’s really going on with all the new construction around the old military base.
6
I just know something really bad is about to happen.
a foreign locale. (“German Inn”, “Old England Bar”, “China Saloon”, etc.)
10
another kind of business or establishment. (“Junkyard Bar”, “The Abbey Lounge”, “Factory Bar”, etc.)
d12
The bar’s sign is…
1
intact neon letter above the door
2
neon and above the door, but with 1d4 letters burned out or broken.
3
cut out letters affixed above the door.
4
cut out letters affixed above the door, with 1d4 letters missing.
5
nicely painted above the door.
6
crudely painted above the door.
7
painted directly on the front door.
8
a wooden plaque affixed to the facade.
9
a painted banner hang above the door.
10
just a painted A-frame standing outside the door.
11
lettered on the front windows.
12
apparently missing.
d12
The exterior of the building is…
1 – 2
a flat-topped brick structure.
3 – 5
a flat-topped wooden structure with clapboard siding.
6
an ordinary wooden house.
7
an ordinary brick house.
8
a faux “Tudor” (half-timber) structure.
9
a faux Polynesian (Tiki) structure.
10
faux adobe (or actual adobe in the Southwest).
11
a faux “Old West” saloon with a “boomtown” facade.
12
a railway car.
25% chance of one or two gas pumps outside building. If there are two, one will be regular gas, and the other diesel.
d12
The bar appears to attract primarily…
1 – 2
blue-collar workers.
3
bikers.
4
truckers.
5
old men.
6
Country Music fans in cowboy and cowgirl outfits.
7
college kids.
8
young singles looking for partners.
9
people of a single ethnicity (other than white American).
10
police.
11
swinging couples.
12
the gay community. (LGBT+ people, but that term didn’t exist in the 1960s or 1970s.)
d8
The condition of the building is…
1
excellent.
2 – 4
generally good.
5
poor due to neglect.
6
poor due to obvious vandalism.
7
badly weathered.
8
mostly good, but there are bullet holes in the side.
d8
The parking lot is…
1
very small, but only partially filled.
2
very small, and completely filled.
3
moderately sized, and largely empty.
4
moderately sized, and half empty.
5
moderately sized, but mostly filled.
6
large, and largely empty.
7
large, and half-filled.
8
large, half-filled, and evidently a popular trolling ground for prostitutes.
The types of vehicles in the parking lot will be consistent with the primary patrons. Motorcycles in a biker bar, pickup trucks for Country Music fans, station wagons for suburban swinging couples, etc.
Inside the Bar
d20
The interior décor is…
1 – 5
unremarkable / consistent with the bar’s name and exterior.
6
filled with military memorabilia.
7
filled with local memorabilia.
8
filled with music memorabilia (appropriate to primary patrons).
9
a faux Irish pub.
10
faux German.
11
faux Medieval.
12
a faux barn.
13
Viking-themed.
14
Mexican-themed.
15
filled with hunting trophies.
16
filled with fishing trophies.
17
festooned with Christmas lights.
18
nautical-themed.
19
Tiki.
20
psychedelic.
d10
The behavior of the patrons is….
1 – 4
like those of any average bar of its type.
5
rowdy and belligerent.
6
friendly and welcoming.
7
extremely unfriendly to outsiders.
8
joyless, and oddly mechanical.
9
quietly menacing.
10
the complete opposite of what one would expect.
d20
The inside smells primarily like…
1 – 8
cigarettes.
9 – 10
cooking meat.
11 – 12
deep-fry oil
13
sweat.
14
incense.
15
mold.
16
dirt.
17
body odor.
18
rotten wood.
19
dry wood.
20
nothing in particular.
d20
The floor is…
1
faux-brick linoleum (or vinyl).
2
faux-wood linoleum (or vinyl).
3
faux-stone linoleum (or vinyl).
4 – 5
patterned linoleum (or vinyl).
6
badly-cracked, faux-brick linoleum (or vinyl).
7
badly-cracked, faux-wood linoleum (or vinyl).
8
badly-cracked, faux-stone linoleum (or vinyl).
9 – 10
badly-cracked, patterned linoleum (or vinyl).
11 – 12
black and white checkerboard tiles.
13
bare concrete.
14 – 15
badly-worn wood.
16 – 17
stained wood.
18 – 19
painted wood.
20
wood parquet.
40% chance the floor is covered with sawdust.
d100
If the floor is searched, you will find…
1 – 9
nothing special besides cigarette butts and beer. (If floor is sawdust, beer will be soaked up.)
10 – 11
an especially large quantity of nut shells.
12 – 13
dead insects.
14 – 15
someone’s wallet (with d100 dollars).
16 – 17
a glob of spit, still wet. (Roll again if floor is sawdust.)
18 – 19
spattered paint. (If floor is sawdust, paint is underneath.)
a wedding ring (Equal chances to be a man’s or a woman’s.)
40 – 41
a broken necklace.
42 – 43
broken glass.
44 – 45
a lost police shield.
46 – 47
a child’s toy.
48 – 49
a store receipt (25% chance the combination of items has disturbing implications. For example: rope, plastic sheeting, duct tape, nylon stockings, a dog collar, bleach, and a set of knives.)
50 – 51
a phone number written on a napkin.
52 – 53
“Help” written on a napkin in a woman’s handwriting.
54 – 54
a business card.
55 – 56
an unexploded firecracker.
57 – 58
unused tickets for a local Amusement Park.
59 – 60
a strange occult design faintly scrawled on the floor in chalk.
61 – 62
a woman’s shoe.
63 – 64
the broken heel from a high-heeled shoe.
65 – 66
a man’s shoe or boot.
67 – 68
a severed finger. (50% either a man’s or woman’s.)
69 – 70
1d4 human teeth.
71 – 72
a small, bloody knife.(Any sawdust on the floor will be stuck to knife along with the blood.)
73 – 74
a page from a Bible, with a verse circled.
75 – 76
a page from a phone book, with a name circled.
77 – 78
a religious tract.
79 – 80
a gemstone, evidently fallen from a ring.
81 – 82
a muddy shoe-print.
83 – 84
a small puddle of urine. (If floor is sawdust, urine will be soaked up.)
85 – 86
two halves of a ripped photograph. (Equal chances to be of a man or a woman.)
87 – 88
a watch. (25% chance to be an expensive brand.)
89 – 90
a dead mouse.
91 – 92
a live mouse.
93 – 94
a crumpled break-up letter.
95 – 96
a broken pencil.
97 – 98
a chicken bone.
99 – 100
a local guidebook, with a bloody fingerprint.
People and Events
d8
The bartender appears to be a(n)…
1
attractive young woman, (5% chance she is also the owner.)
2
young woman, (50% chance she is also the owner.)
3
handsome, middle-aged man, (25% chance he is also the owner.)
4
middle-aged man, (75% chance he is also the owner.)
5
attractive middle-aged woman, (75% chance she is also the owner.)
6
middle-aged woman, (75% chance she is also the owner.)
7
older man, (85% chance she is also the owner.)
8
older woman, (95% chance she is also the owner.)
d100
…with…
1 – 3
one eye.
4 – 6
an obvious scar.
7 – 9
missing teeth.
10 – 12
glasses.
13 – 15
a lisp.
16 – 18
a filthy mouth.
19 – 21
a dog behind the counter.
22 – 24
a pistol on their hip.
25 – 27
notably large breasts / muscles.
28 – 30
badly dyed hair.
31 – 33
an out-of-date hairstyle.
34 – 36
unfashionable clothes.
37 – 39
a very fashionable outfit.
40 – 42
a flamboyant manner of pouring drinks.
43 – 45
a distinct lack of education.
46 – 48
an obviously high level of education.
49 – 51
strange jewelry.
52 – 54
many tattoos. (50% likely to be blue prison tattoos inked with cigarette ash and spit.)
55 – 57
a bad leg.
58 – 60
a bad attitude.
61 – 63
a sympathetic ear for all patrons
64 – 66
no interest in hearing your problems.
67 – 69
an uncanny insight into their patrons’ true desires
70 – 72
seemingly endless stories about their past.
73 – 75
a “catch phrase” that they always seem to work into any conversation.
76 – 78
extremely racist and prejudicial opinions.
79 – 81
an eagerness to share the Good News of Jesus Christ.
82 – 84
strong belief in various conspiracy theories.
85 – 87
professed psychic abilities.
88 – 90
a hatred of hippies and “reds”.
91 – 93
a sympathetic view of hippies and the counterculture.
94 – 95
an encyclopedic knowledge of liquor.
96 – 97
an eagerness to share the teachings of their Guru.
98 – 99
a strangely archaic way of speaking.
100
a striking resemblance to someone famous. (10% chance they actually are that person – or their clone!)
d100
Your attention is attracted by…
1 – 11
a fight breaking among 2d4 patrons.
12 – 13
a man with a flamboyant cowboy outfit.
14 – 15
a pair of identical twins.
16 – 17
a man with a loaded pistol set in front of him.
18 – 19
a plain, small, and unassuming woman who is easily consuming more whiskey than seems possible. She has already drunk several men “under the table”.
20 – 21
a nun.
22 – 23
a beautiful woman, dressed like a high-fashion model, and wearing sunglasses. She drinks alone.
24 – 25
an artist drawing portraits.
26 – 27
a photographer taking snapshots.
28 – 29
a police detective showing someone’s photograph to patrons.
30 – 31
a nervous man who stares at everyone entering the bar.
32 – 33
a silent man in sunglasses, wearing a black suit and fedora. His briefcase in on the table or bar.
34 – 35
a man playing solitaire with an a strange set of cards.
36 – 37
a woman reading palms.
38 – 39
1d4 clown(s).
40 – 41
a Native American, dressed in a traditional outfit.
42 – 43
a group of 1d4+1 men playing “pinfinger” or “five finger fillet” with a knife and their outstretched hands.
44 – 45
a man with 1d4 obviously frightened young women.
46 – 47
a preacher (or other devotee) handing out religious tracts.
48 – 49
a young women approaching one patron after another, begging for a ride.
50 – 51
1d4 hippies.
52 – 53
a middle-aged woman looking for her husband.
54 – 55
a man with a long white beard hanging to his belly.
56 – 57
a breathtakingly beautiful woman who is collecting free drinks.
58 – 59
1d4 police who have entered the bar to make an arrest. (If the bar primarily serves LGTQ+ people, the police may be arresting the patrons. If the bar has strippers, the police may be arresting the dancers, or the owner.)
60 – 61
1 or 2 masked men with guns who suddenly burst in and demand money.
62 – 63
a dog wandering around the bar.
64 – 65
a black cat wandering around the bar.
66 – 67
a man who runs into the bar, yelling that he just encountered a U.F.O.
68 – 69
a man who runs into the bar, yelling that he just encountered a famous local ghost.
70 – 71
a strange creature briefly visible in the window.
72 – 73
a fire breaking out in the bar.
74 – 75
a section of the ceiling collapsing.
76 – 77
1d4 people in archaic outfits.
78 – 79
an obnoxious drunk stumbling into everyone and everything.
80 – 81
a man so drunk he falls off the bar stool unconscious.
82 – 83
a glowing ball of light that moves slowly across the room.
84 – 85
inexplicable banging or tapping sounds.
86 – 87
a muffled cry for help, but from no obvious source.
88 – 89
a bullet (or rock) crashing through a window.
90 – 91
a hitchhiker you’ve previously seen on the side of the road.
92 – 93
an unaccompanied child walking into the bar.
94 – 95
a woman running into the bar, screaming that she just escaped a kidnapper (or killer).
96 – 97
an African-American man with a guitar, who sits down and pours a dark powder on the ground around himself while he mutters something about keeping the “hellhounds” away.
98 – 99
a family who suddenly enters, seeking help for their broken-down automobile.
100
an automobile crashing into the bar!
Obviously out-of-place or annoying patrons will eventually be asked to leave by the Bartender.
Food and Drink
d6
The bar serves…
1
a unique cocktail made nowhere else.
2
a wide selection of beers, but only a small election of spirits.
3
a seemingly endless selection of alcohol.
4
especially stiff drinks.
5
watered-down drinks.
6
only local brands.
A normal 1960s or 1970s roadside bar serves 1d4 brands of beer, and 2d6 other liquors. In most bars, all the beer will be one of the big national brands. Modern-style craft beers are basically non-existent, but small regional and local brands do exist in some areas.
d6
The food is…
1
nothing but bar snacks. (Potato chips, peanuts, pretzels, popcorn, pickled eggs, etc.)
2
expensive, but high-quality.
3
both good and cheap.
4
greasy.
5
an unexpected, exotic cuisine.
6
disgustingly inedible.
Attractions and Amenities
d20, 1d10 times.
Other attractions and amenities include…
1
a dart board.
2
pool table(s).
3
1d6 strippers / burlesque dancers. (Mostly topless in the 1960s and 1970s, but full nude dancing exists in some places after 1969. Stripper poles aren’t introduced until 1972.)
4
a jukebox.
5
a stage for live performances.
6
a dance floor.
7
a television.
8
a pay phone.
9
a mechanical bull.
10
air hockey.
11
a foosball table.
12
a skee-ball machine.
13
various board games that can be played by patrons.
14
an electro-mechanical gun shooting game.
15
a pachinko machine.
16
pinball machine. (Or video game, after 1978.)
17
slot machine. (Or video poker, after 1979.)
18
1d4 bowling lanes.
19
a room for private parties.
20
lodgings.
There can be multiple examples of the same attraction or amenity.
d12
The bathroom is…
1 – 4
unremarkable.
5
the haunt of a local drug dealer.
6
disgustingly foul.
7
covered in graffiti.
8
surprisingly clean.
9
filled with a mysterious odor.
10
very cramped.
11
cavernously large.
12
apparently a popular spot for casual sexual encounters.
The Bar’s Secret
d100
The most shocking fact about this bar is…
1 – 15
only that the staff is paid “off the books”.
16 – 29
it’s Mob owned, but otherwise a regular business.
30 – 38
it serves underage patrons.
39 – 40
it has failed every health inspection, but somehow remains in business.
40 – 41
all the liquor is bootleg, but put into “legitimate” bottles.
42 – 43
it’s crawling with vermin.
44
the bartender is actually a Vampyre.
45
it is used as a hunting ground by the local Vampyres.
46
the bartender is actually a Werewolf.
47
it’s used as a hunting ground by the local Werewolves.
48 – 50
it’s haunted by the ghost of the first owner.
51 – 52
it’s haunted by the ghost of person murdered here.
53 – 54
it’s haunted by the ghost of a dog (or other pet).
55 – 56
it’s patronized by Demons and Devils.
57 – 58
it’s patronized by Angels.
59
it’s patronized by the Devil himself (or another major Infernal power). (d4: Satan is… 1 = looking to make a deal. 2 = on holiday from Hell, and just want to be left alone. 3 = drowning his sorrows from the loss of his latest love. 4 = expecting someone.)
60
it’s Death’s favorite hangout!
61
it’s used as a neutral meeting ground by the powers of Heaven and Hell.
62 – 63
the owner is a KGB agent.
64 – 66
it’s used for CIA mind-control experiments.
67
some of the drinks are actually potions that grant magical powers.
68 – 69
it’s a meeting place for Demon Hunters.
70
the local Fairy Folk meet here “after-hours”.
71 – 72
auctions of sex slaves are held here “after-hours”.
73 – 74
the basement is a way station for human trafficking.
75
the basement contains an entrance to the Underworld.
76
it’s built atop an Indian burial ground.
77
it’s actually a disguised space-ship, and the owner is an extraterrestrial.
79 – 80
many of the apparent patrons are actually ghosts.
81 – 82
its used as hunting ground for a homicidal maniac.
83 – 84
it’s a front for illegal gambling.
85 – 86
it’s a front for prostitution.
87 – 88
it’s a front for drug dealing.
89 – 90
it’s infested with vermin.
91 – 93
the meat served is actually roadkill.
94 – 95
the meat served is actually from animals not normally eaten by Americans.
96
the meat served is human flesh.
97 – 98
the small library and reading room in the back, stocked with classics and quality literature.
This week I thought I would return to my B/X – BECMI Campaign word of Panzoasia, with a whimsically creepy denizen of the Underworld.
Cyclops Spider
Number Appearing: 1 (10% chance of 2 – 4 in lair) Size: Medium (5’ long body, 10’ maximum leg spread.) Alignment: Neutral Morale: Average Intelligence: 10 Move:
Walks at 1 ½ x human speed.
Climbs at 1 ½ x human speed. Armor Class: 3 better than unarmored. Hit Dice: 3 Attacks & Damage: Bite (1d6 + Paralyzing Venom), or shoot Blinding Light. Special:
* Infravision: 180’
* Illuminating Eye: Equal to a Light spell, but affecting other subterranean natives as actual daylight.
* Blinding Light: 1 target with 300’ must Save versus Wands or be blinded for 1d6 Rounds.
* Paralyzing Venom: Victim must Save versus Paralyzation or be unable to move for 1 Turn.
* Climbing: can scale vertical walls, and crawl across ceilings, even if slimy or slippery.
* Move Silently: as a 9th Level Thief. Saves: As Thief 4 Treasure: 900gp value of weapons, armor, jewelry, adventuring equipment, and various curios, + 25% chance of a random magical item. Challenge: Four 3rd Level Characters
The Cyclops Spider is an intelligent Underworld predator perfectly adapted to hunting its subterranean prey. At first glance it simply resembles a rather colorful giant spider, but a second look will reveal the bizarre differences. Instead of the numerous eyes of “normal” giant spider, the Cyclops Spider possess a single, large one resembling that of a human – with a blue iris and bloodshot sclera. In place of a spider’s fangs the creature has a grinning mouth filled with needle-sharp teeth, and a bright pink tongue. The spider’s body is covered with hair, in a green-and-purple striped pattern. Each of its eight legs ends in a hand-like arrangement of three, segmented fingers – with which the spider can pick up and employ objects.
The Cyclops Spider is most noted for its ability to emit bright light from its single eye, on account of which it also called a Lantern Spider. This light is just as debilitating as daylight to to those subterranean creatures who are sensitive to it (such as Goblins). The creature can also focus the light from its eye into a concentrated beam capable of temporarily blinding even creatures from the surface world. While the Cyclops Spider does not build webs, its paralyzing venom and ability to emit debilitating light ensures that it can obtain its favorite food – small subterranean humanoids.
Cyclops Spiders are as intelligent as humans, and can speak the language common to all sentient arachnids as soon as they hatch. They can also learn and speak humanoid languages (including Common), which they sometimes do in order to taunt their prey. Their lair (or “parlor”) will always be in a small cavern accessible only by climbing. There they store and display the treasure they collect from their victims. They place no value on coins, however, and do not collect them. Although generally solitary, they will occasional play host to one another, at which time they will show off particularly interesting objects from their collections. Cyclops Spiders are unique among arachnids for preferring to sleep on colorful, stuffed cushions, which they obtain in their infrequent raids on the surface world.
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The Engine of Oracles 